Old Welsh Wedding Customs
"In England, marriages are not marked by any special custom peculiar to the nation, but the Welsh wedding celebrations are stamped with an individuality exclusively their own..."
Note: This article has been excerpted from a larger work in the public domain and shared here due to its historical value. It may contain outdated ideas and language that do not reflect TOTA’s opinions and beliefs.
From Glimpses of Welsh Life and Character by Marie Trevelyan, 1893.
In these days when new celebrations, gradually creeping into society, take the place of curious, and, in some instances, obsolete customs, it is interesting to note those that still prevail in Wales, and to glance back at others which have ceased to exist.
Silver and golden wedding festivities have become cosmopolitan in their popularity, and, in England, marriages are not marked by any special custom peculiar to the nation, but the Welsh wedding celebrations are stamped with an individuality exclusively their own.
Curious wedding customs still prevail in Wales, especially in the western counties.
Marriage by capture, even in the present day, is particularly popular in Cardiganshire.
On the morning of the wedding day, the bridegroom and his friends proceed to the residence of the bride's father. They find the door locked, and the relatives and friends of the bride prepared to resist the bride. Considerable scuffling, merriment, and sometimes horseplay is indulged in, until order is restored by a spokesman on each side, who hold an animated dialogue, chiefly in verse. When that is concluded, the bridegroom is then admitted, but although he searches, he cannot find the bride, who disguises herself. Great is the merriment when, perhaps, the bride is discovered disguised, either as an aged woman knitting in a corner, or as an old crone nursing a baby boy. The boy infant is regarded as a symbol of good luck, and promise of sons rather than daughters.
Shortly afterwards, the wedding party goes to church or chapel, as the case may be. As soon as the bride reaches the church, she is seized by her father and brother or other relatives, who ride or drive off with her. A chase ensues, and when the bridegroom catches the party, the bride is delivered into his keeping; then they return to the church, and the wedding ceremony proceeds in the usual manner.
In connection with the old marriage customs of Wales, there were the Bidding or invitation to the wedding; the Gwahoddwr, or Bidder, whose duty it was formally to invite the guests; the Ystafell, or bride's goods and presents; the Pwrs a Gwregys, or purse and girdle; the Pwython, and the Neithior.
The bidding is a general invitation to all the friends of the bride and bridegroom-elect, to meet either at the houses of the parents, or any other place appointed. If strangers who chance to be in the neighbourhood like to go, they are warmly welcomed. At the Bidding, a voluntary contribution — no matter how large or small a sum — is expected from each guest, in order to make up a purse for the young couple, who, on the other hand, naturally expect donations from those whose weddings they have attended.
Previous to this reception or Bidding, it was the duty of the Gwahoddwr to go from house to house to invite the guests. He carried as the staff of office a willow wand, from which the bark was peeled. This wand and his hat were gaily decorated with bright coloured ribbons, and a true lover's knot, or white favor, was fastened in the button-hole of his coat. The Gwahoddwr knocked at the door of each guest, and, having been admitted, he would strike the floor with his staff, and then announce the date of the wedding. Sometimes the intimation was made in rhyme, but more frequently in prose. As a rule, the Gwahoddwr was a merry wag or lively bard, who prepared a rhyme for the occasion, and recited it amid the mirth of the company.
In the present day the services of the Gwahoddwr — who was rapturously greeted everywhere — are generally dispensed with, and a written note or circular is sent out instead. This is to be regretted, since it robs the marriage custom of its ancient character. The Gwahoddwr's circuit was one of the most pleasing and merry features of the rural Welsh wedding of the past.
The written note or printed circular which is now often sent out instead of the Gwahoddwr, is worded thus: —
''March 31, 1892.
"As we, John Morgan and Jenny Jones, intend to enter upon the bonds of holy matrimony on Saturday the first of May next, we are advised by our friends to make a Bidding on the occasion at the house of the young woman's father. The favour of your agreeable company is respectfully solicited. Whatever donation you may be pleased to bestow on us then will be thankfully received and cheerfully repaid whenever called for on a similar occasion.
"The parents of the bride and bridegroom-elect desire that all gifts due to them will be returned to them on the above day, and will be thankful for all favours granted. Your obedient servants,
(Signed) John Morgan.
Jenny Jones."
In the present day, these Biddings are exclusively confined to the lower classes, and small farmers; but in the past they were general among the middle ranks of society.
On the Friday before the wedding, the Ystafell, or household goods, were brought home. This included one or two feather beds and blankets, and without fail an oaken chest, probably an heirloom in the family of the bride-elect. Then, according to time-honoured custom, the bridegroom-elect sent bedsteads, tables, and a dresser. Whatever was necessary for house-keeping came in, some of the goods being supplied by the parents of the young people, and others by relatives and friends. Meanwhile, the young man was busy at his home in receiving money, cheese, bacon, and other things from his friends. These gifts sometimes included a cow, a horse, a pig, living fowls, geese, ducks, and other articles of a similar nature if he intended farming. At the same time the bride in her home received the Pwrs a Gwregys, or purse and girdle. These presents included money, and all articles necessary for a housekeeper.
On the wedding morning the invited guests paid their Pwython — that is, they returned presents for those which they had received at different weddings. Thus, the future bride or bridegroom had perhaps attended five or six weddings before their own marriage, and to each young couple they had given presents. Now, they required and expected those young married folk to bring a gift in return.
After depositing their offerings, refreshment was offered, and then ten or twelve of the bridegroom's friends mounted their horses, or entered their traps or gigs, and went to demand the bride, in whose home the Gwahoddwr was located. When the bridegroom's procession halted at the house of the bride's parents, one of the party — generally a harpist and bard — delivered lines appropriate to the occasion, and these were responded to by the Gwahoddwr, who remained within.
The following verses were composed for a Welsh wedding, and delivered in the orthodox manner.
Bard. "Somebody fair is hiding here,
Somebody who to us is dear;
Flowers have we to deck her head,
Roses white and roses red,
And roses pink with never a thorn,
A spray of gorse and ears of corn:
All these blossoms are brought to-day,
Now lead the fair one forth, we pray!"The Gwahoddwr from within replied —
“What is this noise? What means it all?
We will not answer a stranger's call;
Unless you tell us what brings you here,
We will give you something to feel and fear!"Bard. "We seek a maiden tall and fair,
With sparking eyes and nut-brown hair;
She is the best of maidens many,
Beautiful, winsome, loving Gwennie.
We come to claim her as bride' to-day.
So open the doors to us, we pray!"Gwahoddwr. "Our daughter is still so young and fair.
She needs a mother's tender care:
Go, seek another bride elsewhere."Bard. "But she has been truly wooed and won,
She shall be his ere set of sun,
And we must see her duly married;
Come, come, we have too long here tarried;
Unless you give her up, we vow
To burst the door and seize her now."Then the "best man" called out in a tone of authority: —
"Silence! let noise and clamour cease;
We come to win the bride in peace.
In peace we wish to go our way,
To have our due, and now we pray
The bride may come to us to-day."
The Gwahoddwr unbolted the door, and throwing it wide open, greeted the bridegroom's party.
Search was made either then or in the evening, after the wedding festivities, for the bride, who ultimately was discovered under the disguise of a "granny." After that, refreshments, consisting of bread and cheese and beer for the men, and cakes and wine for the women, were then served.
In olden days, when riding was more general than walking or driving, the party mounted their ponies or horses, each lass sitting behind her lad, and the bride seated in the wake of her father or brother. In later years the company walked, and "walking weddings" are general now in some of the rural districts.
At first the procession went at a moderate pace, but by-and-by the bride and her escort went quicker, until, at length, they either rode at a gallop or rode off as swiftly as possible. Then the fun really began. With might and main, the bridegroom and his party pursued the bride and her friends, and everybody did their utmost to chase and catch the bride, because whoever caught her would be married "for certain" within a year from that date. By-and-by the bride was overtaken, simultaneously perhaps, by two couples, and, amid loud laughter and cheering, she returned.
When mirth subsided, the wedding-party decorously entered the church. No sooner was the ”knot tied" than the harpist, seated in the churchyard, struck up a national melody appropriate to the occasion. It would be "Merch Megan," "Mentia Gwen," or any other charming song, the words of which were sung by the assembled spectators. The bride and bridegroom then mounted their horse, or, walking, led the way to the house of the bride's parents. In their progress, they were "chained" by ropes of evergreens, and the boys and men would not allow them to pass without paying their footing. In the present times, rice is thrown at the happy pair, but this is a modern innovation, for in former days they were pelted with flowers.
The invited guests then repaired to the bride's home, where a substantial dinner — not breakfast — was served, after which the bride and her girl friends, and the bridegroom and his companions, retired respectively to the best parlour and the village inn until tea-time.
Dancing was the order of the evening, when reels, country dances, and jigs were indulged in up to a late hour. Then the trick of concealing the bride from the bridegroom was played, and great was the astonishment and amusement of the guests at seeing the young husband seeking his wife everywhere, and finding her at last perhaps only behind the parlour door.
After a few songs with harp accompaniment, the wedding party dispersed, and the bride and bridegroom quietly proceeded to their new home.
On the Neithior, or first Sunday after the wedding, the newly married pair always stayed at home to receive their friends, and thus conclude the marriage customs.
In Hone's "Table Book" the wedding customs in Brecknockshire and Merthyr Tydfil are thus described: — "When a farmer's daughter or some young woman, with a fortune of from £100 to £200, marries, it is generally very privately, and she returns to her father's house for a few weeks, where her friends and neighbours go to see her, but none go empty handed. When the appointed time arrives for the young man to take home his wife, the elderly women are invited to attend the 'stafell,'" — this is incorrect; it should be Ystafell — "that is the furniture which the young woman provides; in general it is rather considerable. It is conveyed in great order, there being fixed rules as to the articles to be moved off first, and those which are to follow. I have thought this a pleasing sight, the company being all on horseback, and each matron in her appointed station, the nearest relative going first. All have their allotted basket or piece of furniture, a horse and car following afterwards with the heaviest articles. The next day the young couple are attended by the younger part of their friends, and this is called a tiermant, and is frequently preceded by music."
These curious old customs still prevail in some parts of western Wales, although they are gradually declining in popular favour. Many of the young people now prefer going privately into the nearest town, and there get married in a church, chapel, or before the registrar.
When a rural wedding takes place, the pathway or road leading from the bride's house to the church is previously carefully swept and sanded. Rushes and herbs are strewn all along the way, while here and there, bright coloured true lovers' knots are to be seen, and the aisle of the church is similarly decorated. As the bridal party return after the ceremony, they are "chained," either with ordinary ropes, or ropes covered with flowers and evergreens, and the young couple shall not pass until the bridegroom pays toll.
Another custom still prevalent in Wales is this. Before the bridegroom and the bride leave the altar to go and sign the register, the former gallantly kisses his wife, and then he salutes her mother, while the young wife receives the embraces of her mother-in-law.
Late in the eighteenth century, the bridal flowers used in Wales were the pansy, roses of every kind excepting yellow, maiden blush, prickmadam, gentle heart, lady's fingers, lady-smock, and, strangest of all, prickles. A spray of golden blossomed gorse, or furze, was considered a lucky addition to other flowers. To encourage the bride in industry, red clover bloom was strewn in her pathway. The scarlet fuschia was to remind her of good taste in all things. Golden-rod was the symbol of caution in domestic and other matters; whole straws were to teach her that to agree is better than to differ; the shamrock was to advise her to be lighthearted; heather was for good luck, and sprays of ivy were emblems of fidelity.
"As soon as you are married," say the old Welsh, crones, "be sure you buy something before your husband has the chance to. Then you'll be master for life!"
This glorious chance must not be allowed to slip, but how the difficulty is to be surmounted puzzles the bride-elect. The husband pays toll when they are "chained" on the homeward path, so what can the wife do? the girls ask.
"That is only giving, not buying," the old women reply. " You must buy — buy anything."
Then the moment the bride reaches home she quickly buys a pin or pins from one of the bridesmaids. Lavender is considered a lucky colour for a wedding-gown, but to be "married in black" was ominous of unhappiness or disaster.
Trevelyan, Marie. Glimpses of Welsh Life and Character. J. Hogg, 1893.
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